var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. In America, anyone can become president. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Theyre all in favour of the unborn. //]]> url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Really? var e = document.createElement("script"); e.src = "https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mrkPcyPwL.js"; document.head.appendChild(e); They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. } It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. They will do anything for the unborn. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. var cookie = cookies[i]; The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); ' George Carlin, 30. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. (function () { }, var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. George Carlin Who the fuck is going to invade the US? George Carlin. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. The people are f***ed. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Theres no present. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Try spelling Evian backward. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. Laugh often, long and loud. Nobody seems to care. They own you. googletag.enableServices(); node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Its so f***ing heroic. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. We havent tried that for a while. - George Carlin profile quotes. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. if (window.csa) { Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. Period. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. Did you enjoy this article? Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other You have owners. George Carlin, 84. A Death! died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. I hate groups of people. George Carlin "The planet is fine. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. This is what we have to offer. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. gads.async = true; 3. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Required fields are marked *. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. }); 2023 Inspirationfeed. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. George Carlin > Quotes (?) It will not be with jack-boots. Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. They own, and control the corporations. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. But he loves you. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. its only a symbol. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); 4994. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. I think that speaks for itself. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. }); var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. (?) He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. You know what they ought to do with churches? Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. Enjoy! apstag.init({ War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. fetchBids: function() { You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking.