Letter Telling Your Husband You Are Not Happy. It feels like were just going through the motions of life together without really connecting on any level anymore. You work long hours at work, and when you do come home, all you do is complain about how tired you are. And if it ever comes back, I want you to know Ill be here again and again. Ive left my parents home for you. Everybone hurts. But now its like something has gone wrong between us and I dont know how to fix it. You spend more and more time away from me and the children. We used to be so close, and I miss that. Now all we talk about are things like groceries and bills stuff that doesnt really matter in the grand scheme of things. If you love me with your heart, you will trust me. I was not properly equipped to handle the effects of mental illness, nor was I ready to deal with the perceived backlash I thought could only be my fault. One day I hope it wont ever cross my mind again. Related Reading: Confession of an insecure wife Every night after he sleeps, I check his messages. Writing about your feelings can be beneficial in helping you understand your emotions and may help you discover other ways to express yourself to those you love. Just tell me you love me and leave me to calm down. A woman who needs a letter to explain her feelings to her spouse to finally admit the truth to herself: My husband doesnt want me anymore. But weve been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. This can reflect some change patterns in the marriage making it possible to fall out of love. Will the sky be blue or black? Now that I know what I would miss, Im here to stay. I say that because I am hurt and some sort of sadistic pleasure makes me say this and be more hurt. Its all your fault because youre the reason why Im so unhappy. You dont have to tell me you love me every day or try to convince me that Im beautiful to you. You did this without even giving me an explanation as to why you felt this way and what exactly made you think that ending our marriage would be best for both of us? I guess what Im trying to say here is that something needs to change. I feel the cloud approaching and it petrifies me. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. "text": "Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. Well just keep drifting away from each other. Rehab center, also known as rehabilitation is a drug addiction treatment to provide and give support and care to people who have problem with drug addiction, and depression and finds it difficult to put a stop to it. I know its hard for you to understand what is happening in my life right now because you are busy working all day long, but please try to listen carefully to what I am saying. You see, the problem is that I am still unhappy and depressed about the way our marriage is going. And when I say Ill divorce you, its the last thing I want to do. Remember the last time when my girlfriend had called? So what happened to it? It shouldnt have got to this stage. Your voice used to be music to my ears and now I rarely even get to hear it. I dont have to clear every misunderstanding that you might harbour. Waiting. I am writing this letter to you with a heavy heart. Let us do away with these trivial marriage issues. Im going to sit down and write mine today. "@type": "Answer", The woman on the other side. Depression and unhappiness can stem from a variety of causes, including: It is important to note that each individuals experience with depression and unhappiness is unique, and a combination of factors may be at play. I dont have all the answers and you probably dont have them either. You know that Ive been depressed for a while now and unable to sleep properly. Go out there and find your soulmate if Im not that person to you. You have been working so hard lately, and it seems like you never have time for me anymore. I feel like a rubbish momma. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you. You seem to have drifted away and now I can barely see you somewhere in the distance. So before you feel insecure, think of all that I have done for you. If you dont want me anymore, so be it, but know that Ill love you forever just like I promised on our wedding day. This may however help you both to come to a mutual agreement. In the following, we'll be providing a letter to spouse to save marriage. Ive gotten help since then, but I still fall short sometimes. I know its important to know when to give up, but this letter is about me begging you to keep fighting. You dont have time for me anymore. I have been trying to hide it from you, but I think it is time that I tell you how I am feeling. Be a supportive husband. I need your love and for you to show me the affection you used to. 3. But it seems like you dont want that anymore it seems like you dont want me. Its like an old addiction that comes to hurt me when it smells the dark cloud. That I was powerless to change how you felt. I know my depression can seem selfish. 4. Becci is very honest, brutally honest, and prides herself on this. This gives them a sense of belonging also the idea that someone got their back. Tips And Coping Advice, 13 Common Things Husbands Do To Destroy Their Marriage. I cannot go on living like this anymore. I feel like I cant do anything right anymore. I have been trying hard not to show you my tears, but now I cant hold them back anymore. I want you to know and remember my unconditional love for you. Depression is vile a vile, nasty monster. Something has to change. I know that we have had a rough patch lately, but I want us to move past it together. Whod want to write a letter to a husband about feeling unwanted? "text": "How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. Youre making me feel like youre ready to leave and Im not ready to let you go. We were living our dream life together in a beautiful house with a garden full of flowers and a dog that we loved dearly. Instead, I dont even feel loved by you. If we go longer than 4 days he starts in with the questions, accusations, threatening divorce.It makes me so sad and breaks my heart. Oops! When the black cloud is here it consumes my mind. Most of the time I wont. In the topic of a depressed unhappy wifes letter to a husband, know that communication is a key factor that needs to be looked at in any kind of relationship. At that time, Im sad to say, your assurances fell on deaf ears. But the truth is, Im not happy either, and that makes me feel like Im failing you as a wifeand as a person. Depression is one thing that can cause a couple to become unhappy in marriage. And you had thought it was a boy! And its not just because youve been there for me, but because I love you and want to be with you at any cost. This is a very poignant letter written by a wife to a husband, who is insecure, suspicious and has serious trust issues. Becci blogs over at swordsandsnoodles.co.uk. I know that you are busy with work and your friends, but I want us to be able to talk about everything. Sometimes I can go for months without those thoughts crossing my mind, and other times I think about them every second of every day for weeks. I know that you are a good person who always tries his best but sometimes life just sucks and theres nothing anyone can do about it. I want to be with the man I used to kiss whenever hed walk out the door Not the man who doesnt even tell me that hes heading out. Follow this journey on Swords and Snoodles. It's part of my brain chemistry, my DNA, along with a thousand other things about me that you love or that frustrate you. Not get pleasure from activities usually enjoyed. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. It is only because I love you so much and want us to be happy together again! Marriage is a lifetime commitment. I didnt like the new house, or our neighbors, or being far away from my family and friends. Instead of leaving the marriage, why dont you find ways of dealing and coping with your depressed wife? I realize you don't know me. Our chemistry is crazy. Depression makes me feel tired. But lately, Ive been feeling sad and depressed. 15 Warning Signs You Need A Divorce For Sure, Is It Better To Divorce Or Stay Unhappily Married? Oops! And Ive left my identity to become your wife. (Insert husband's name or nickname here), I'm writing you this letter to express my feelings. When we first got married, you worked hard so that we could live in a nice house and afford nice things. It provides users with a range of resources, including guided meditations, mindfulness exercises, and practical tips to help them improve their mental and emotional well-being. It doesnt reflect reality at all or at least my reality as a person who wants more out of life than what she has right now (which is exactly nothing). And my husband is always kind and good, but I think I am neglected! Help me make things better again. You are trapped by your own thoughts and ideas about how things should be and what you want from life; and I am trapped by my own mind as well because even though I know that no one will ever understand me, including myself, I still try anyway. I love you, and Ill never stop loving you, but it needs to go both ways. Im sorry that I am not the wife you deserve but I dont know what else to do. You dont seem to notice how unhappy I am, and it makes me feel like you dont care about me as much as you used to. Is the weather nice? Template: 3. ", I wonder, will I cope? I dont know why, but I think its because of you and our relationship. Dont you know how much your happiness means to me? I wish we could go back in time and relive those moments where everything felt so right between us but sadly time keeps moving forward no matter how hard we try. 2. It feels like we had a huge fight that we never finished and its like an obstacle between us, severing our connection. I dont know where to begin. Please dont give up on me, love, because I wouldnt be the same without you. The Mighty is asking the following: Write a letter to anyone you wish had a better understanding of your experience with disability, disease or mental illness. Love to read and write. 2. And although society says it's what you should do to unwind, I've grown to loathe that can. I know that things arent always easy between us like they used to be when we first got married years ago because of how busy both of us have been lately with work. (Insert husband's name or nickname here), I'm writing you this letter to express my feelings. I have learned that there will always be days when you are down. Reach out for support: Talking to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can help provide a safe space to process and cope with difficult emotions. There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. Youre happy when Im happy, and youre sad when Im sad. I dont want to feel like this anymore. Let me know how I can help you want me in your life again. I love you so much and I just want to make you happy. I miss the bond we used to have, and I hope that you miss it enough to try to create it again. The only reason Im still alive is because I couldnt do that to you. I know that you are going through a lot of stress at work right now and you need to focus on that. I need you to hold my hand and lead me to the future we planned for us. We havent had sex in months, and even when we do its just a routine that we both dread and try to avoid whenever possible (if not completely). I know you probably think to yourself, is this my fault? And if that means ending our relationship so you can find happiness with someone else, then so be it. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you." But lately, its like that feeling has been taken from me. Theres so much more ahead of us that we need to face together. I wont stop you, but know that I wont give up on us as long as theres hope. To the contrary, you were always so bright and full of life and energy. But now, after many years of marriage, I can see that things are changing between us. If youre not, thats okay too. Sometimes we just need someone else to make us feel better about ourselves even if theyre not directly involved in our problems at all; just having someone around who cares about us just as much as we care about them goes a long way towards helping us feel better when were feeling down or depressed or frustrated with life in general. And if you are insecure, instead of fighting with me, why dont you douse me with your love so much that you will be sure that no one will be able to take your place? As we stood on stage in front of all of those strangers, acting our hearts out, I never once believed we would find ourselves here. Help me findthatfreedom. A year ago, our marriage was perfect. The hurt builds up, like a tower. Hoping you will cross the bridge and come over soon. We dont laugh anymore. I love you so much, but sometimes it feels like we are living separate lives. You are not happy anymore and neither do I feel happy living with you anymore. Im depressed and obviously unhappy. I wonder why the love has started diminishing. Privacy Policy | About us |Contact us 2023 Think Aloud. Therefore you should know them better as a husband and know when they need love and care. Maybe theres already someone else in your life, but you need to know that youre irreplaceable in mine. I love you, and I know you love me too. Youre still here, but its like youre not or dont want to be. Youre the greatest man Ive ever met, and I cant imagine my life without you. As I lay here in bed with the baby, you're in the other room drinking a beer. Instead of cuddling and watching a movie, we create real-life drama. Squeeze my hand tight ifyoureawake too. We both know were not the same people we were when we first met, but does it have to mean that were not a married couple? "@type": "Answer", Im sorry if Ive been mean or angry towards you during these times because its not your fault at all and it was wrong of me to take out my frustrations on you like that. I know you were hoping that this would be a different letter from the one I wrote last week, but its not. She has authored \'Corazon Roto and Sixty Nine Other Treasons\'(2015), has co-edited two poetry anthologies, \'Dawn Beyond the Waste\'(2016) and \'Cologne of Heritage\'(2017), and has been published widely in journals both nationally and internationally. Ive spoken to my girlfriends and they all say the same. Depression clouds your mind. Please dont ask me if ImOK my automatic answer will beyes. I find it so hard being a momma on cloudy days, but I try so hard to not let them notice the clouds. Instead, you listened and you encouraged me to do what I thought might help me. I am writing this to you with tears in my eyes and desperation in my heart. Encourage professional help: If your wife is struggling with depression or unhappiness, it is important to encourage her to seek professional help. Just like you have always been there for me, I will always be there for you. Because what good is a house if we arent happy? Mum with depression pens heartfelt letter to husband. You tell me that you have a lot of work at work and dont have time for me or the kids but its not like that at all. I used to be so happy when we were first married but now everything has changed and it feels like we are just roommates living under the same roof instead of husband and wife who should love each other unconditionally no matter what happens! Many of my patients who suffer from depression claim they're . Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. The contents have gone from the more expensive craft . I'm worn out. I dont know what happened, but maybe its time for both of us to start working on the marriage again instead of just living our lives separately and not really talking about anything important anymore. The choice depends on what you make. "@type": "Answer", Think. If so, please forgive me and know that I want to make it up to you. The conclusion can have some suggestions or decisions you have taken or want to take in a bid for a positive resolution. This is the reason I am penning this letter from wife to husband today. I love you so much, and it hurts me to see you like this! Communication can break or build up a relationship. I need to feel safe in your embrace like I used to. Im sorry that Ive been so unhappy lately. You dont know what its like to be in your shoes, so I am going to tell you everything. I know that things change with time, but I never thought that our love would change. And when you view me like that all the time, it hurts me so much. I simply cant handle it because the thought of losing you is killing me. You get me and I get you. And I need help. 13 Tell-Tale Signs A Man Is Unhappy . There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. Every marriage encounters some bumps on the road, but the strong ones survive everything. You didnt have to marry me. And that should be enough for you. People even envied our love. We have now been together five years and married for nearly two of them. I didnt forget about our vows and neither should you. September 10, 2022 November 2, 2022. I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). I dont know how to start this letter. I know that things havent been perfect lately but that doesnt mean they cant get better again someday either! This article would guide you as to how to write a letter to your husband as a depressed unhappy wife. But lately it feels like weve drifted apart and we dont even talk anymore. Its that I feel like Im losing control over my mind. Changes in appetite, loss of appetite, and weight loss. 2. 4. As a husband, you may have thoughts of leaving the marriage. The distance between us started to widen and our love language changed We barely even talk and I feel neglected and hopeless. I miss getting flowers and chocolate just because you wanted to surprise me. Letter to My Boyfriend During Difficult Times. I think its because your job is too stressful and youre taking it out on us by staying away. What changed and why did it have to change? I want to work on our relationship but I cant do it alone. Ive spent so many nights crying myself to sleep thinking about what we could have been if only we had made different choices along the way. This is a letter from a wife to a husband where I talk about years of hurt and pain you have given me. I am so tired and frustrated that I feel like I cannot take it anymore. You know it as well as I do: We just cant go on like this. But please, dont ever get down on yourself. When we got married, it was the happiest day of my life, to make my vows to you and promise to love you forever. Perhaps there were many reasons behind these changes in our lives, but all I know is that I am unable to live without you by my side anymore! And thank you for the late night talks when you know something isnt right. We dont do the things we used to do. Related Reading: How I turned into a jealous monster. If you think you cannot express your feelings to your husband directly it is best to express yourself in a letter which allows you to express yourself better by choosing your ideas carefully. I feel like Im drowning in a sea of my own tears. Well, Im not laughing and I havent for a very long time. Hi sweetheart, The time is difficult but my husband you are not. You know how I may struggle with words when it comes to emotions, so I thought I'd offer you something physical to express how I've been feeling. I know it still scares you. Life has thrown us some major obstacles but we always get thru them and come out Better people. Your words hurt me so much that sometimes I want to cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how terrible my life has become ever since we got married. } She co-founded Poetry Paradigm and is an executive body member of Indian Performance and Poetry Library. The truth is, even if were not seeing other people, we barely see each other anymore, even when were in the same room. If you or someone you know needs help, see oursuicide prevention resources. Trust building is very important in a husband and wife relationship. Because I love you so much, and I want to see you happy. I love you, and I know you love me too. Im not sure where things went wrong, to be honest with you. After all, youre all that I have, and all that truly matters to me. "name": "Can A Toxic Marriage Cause Depression? You may want to tell your husband what you feel nicely and decently. But today, I feel like the world has fallen on me, and I cant bear the pain anymore. Feeling alone while youre with someone is worse than feeling alone while no ones there. How to Discuss Your Depression with Your Partner 1. All Im asking for is that you keep it safe there for a little longer before deciding to throw it away. I hope you know I try. She is also the joint-convenor of the National Poetry Festival. When we first met five years ago, I never thought I would be writing this. I just want to cry all day. We yell at each other and pretend that its about whatever trivial thing we are yelling about. I know how much you love me and how much you want me to be happy. I know that you would do anything for me. You can find even more stories on our Home page. On weekends, all we do is sit around watching TV together as a family when we should be doing something fun together as a family instead of just sitting around like zombies! Required fields are marked *, I felt like I was reading my own words. And I know that you can take your pick of the girls, but dont I still deserve a chance too? You are always working, or at least it seems that way. Sometimes, I wonder whether youve met someone new, although I still trust you enough to know you wouldnt hurt me that way But maybe Im wrong and youre not the same man I fell in love with all those years ago. Because despite the internal battle you fight on a daily basis, you still manage to be truly the best wife I could have ever hoped for. She spent her 20's travelling, her 30's getting married and having babies, and is now hitting her 40's newly . I am writing this letter to you because I dont know what to do. It doesnt feel that way anymore, though, and its killing me. Most importantly, I need you to be by my side. It feels like we have lost our connection with each other and there isnt anything left between us anymore except for our daughter who sleeps in her own room at night while we sit on opposite ends of our king size bed watching TV shows. It feels like I need to scream to stop it, but instead, Im writing a letter to you, my dear husband, about feeling unwanted. In as much as there should be fun, one should note that marriage goes beyond having fun. I felt trapped in a cycle of trying to understand your depression, to getting frustrated when it got too bad, and finally returning to wanting nothing more but to help you feel better. But I have to tell you the truth about how I feel. Well, a woman who doesnt feel desirable in her husbands life anymore. Thank you for fulfilling my random cravings because you know it will make me feel better. The symptoms of depression and unhappiness can vary widely, but may include: If you or your wife are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is important to seek professional help. I have given you all that I could give, but it just seems like it is never enough for you. I wanted you to trust me because I knew I wasnt wrong. Not only is Swords & Snoodles a parenting website, it also often features mental health issues and experiences with children who have additional needs. Various factors, including a loss of control and abuse in a marriage, can cause depression. I think Im going to have a panic attack. or Oh my gosh, Im so depressed became a monotonous phrase that strangers were all too happy to proclaim when the coffee shop ran out of their favorite muffin or they were forced to stay in the library a little later than normal to finish a paper instead of going to the bars with their friends. I love you. Were adults, a family. There are many ways by which a husband can deal with his wife without having to leave the marriage. You say that I need to be more patient but how can I be when things keep going wrong? And you had asked me who it was and I had said her name and you said I had lied. I'm depressed. The Waiting Game When A Guy Disappears, Does He Ever Come Back? I know it can add up quickly. The whole scene made me sad because it reminded me of how I used to treat my ex-wife. Theyd been merelybuzzwords thrown around too many times by peoplewho couldnt think of another way to describe their daily frustrations. We live in the same house, but we dont even talk to each other anymore. When I look into the mirror, I see an old woman instead of a young girl like before. It was not fair at all!!! Continue the conversation. Without it, Im not even a wife Im just a person who makes sure all the housework is done. Thank you for the times you let me make those big decisions for my mental health. And thats not something that should be mentioned more than once. Some of the responsibilities expected in a relationship include. Coping Strategies for Husbands. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! We know when one of us needs space, and we know when one of us needs that extra loving. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Minimizing each other's feelings, having little sex, feeling abandoned and powerless, and no longer having fun together all indicate an unhappy marriage . You're happy when I'm happy, and you're sad when I'm sad. Sometimes, you just have to write things down to really face the truth. I'm not sure how I should be feeling about the things said between me and my husband. Take some time out. But now we dont have each other anymore, we just have this awkward silence between us thats killing me. We used to talk about our days when you came home from work, but now all you want to do is relax, watch TV or go to sleep. After all weve been through, I think it does and Ive started feeling like its not an option youd consider anymore. I know its hard to help somebodythroughdepression if youve neverexperiencedit yourself. That man used to smile every time hed see me, but now he doesnt smile anymore.