The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. Amazed how women can be on these forums. Welcome! 1. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. But we started fighting more and more. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. To cut a long story short I'm in a very My Pregnant Girlfriend is Pushing Me Away. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. I tried to make myself love him. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. They finally divorced when I was 19. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? She doesn't deserve that. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Why not abortion?? You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. And I still do. Now she's pregnant. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. not the father, mother or child. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. For more information, please see our Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. Has it ever gotten better. Will you make a better progress by doing so? And the same with me. Help :(. FTM. I used to . Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. I was supposed to be the one. I couldn't be myself with him. May you both be happy and healthy. I just put myself on hold. Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . 4. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! (1 to 2 kg . Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. I'm supposed to get married in a month. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! You're a mom now. No going back. go and apologise. . Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. I don't know if this is pregnancy hormones (I am only 5 weeks) or if I really feel this way. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. SAY IT AGAIN! I hope you find what you're looking for. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. Op: get a job and support yourself. I was By entering this site you declare By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. Steve. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). we should always strife to solve a problem no matter how painful by looking at its essence and its core and not from its form. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. Would I do it again? Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. No need to waste time your life and time on him. I dont think Ill be at peace with her in marriage. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. You need to get in contact with services and leave. Don't marry someone you don't love. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. I don't know what to do. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. So family pressured us to get married. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. my point is no one really wins in this situation. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. Rightfully so! Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Same boat. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . We are two total opposite people. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Sooner or later it'll be over. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. You have a hard decision to make. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! Its been almost 5yrs. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? It might even be too late for you anyway. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. So, we got married. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. She is 6 months pregnant now. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. FATHER IS BLESSED WITH A CHILD BUT MISARABLE. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? Recently I found out I am pregnant. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. He was a rebound for me. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. gals are expect dnt 4get. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? It tears me apart. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. Does anyone relate? Privacy Policy. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! FTM. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Nothing from the start. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. Add to Favorites. If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. The dilemma I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me.The problem is that I do not love her and I have told her that. She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. She's told me I'll get to see the kid and stuff but she doesn't want me in her life anymore because I make her too unhappy. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. It just reads so snobby and lazy. Time to grow up! I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. Is anyone in the same situation. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. And, the combination of all of these factors can really take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. Making your child or probably children at this point live in hell as well because hey if you married her you may as well keep having sex and bring more kids in the world who would have to listen to the fighting, name calling, hate. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. It would feel odd. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. Learn more about. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. you have a baby with a girl you dont love,but you loved her apple enough to eat it without any protection?stupid talk,absolute rubbish. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again.